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Jean Skeels

Author: Jean Skeels

The Return of Spring

Posted on by Jean Skeels

Spring has arrived and it marks the return of the light as days grow longer than night. Birds return to places like where I live, trees begin to bud, plants get ready to emerge from the ground. All of life begins to yawn, stretch, and awaken. Everything is returning and rising.


Spring can be like that for us as well. It is a beautiful time to consider Spring season energy for our lives; return, reemerge, reclaim, refresh, rediscover. There are so many ‘re’ words that invite us to grow and become even more of who we are meant to be. 


One powerful line that comes from a teacher in my lineage of Kripalu Yoga is, “Remain established in the third eye and remember who you are.”


This simply means to center yourself in your own inner wisdom and higher being, that connects you to the true self that you always have been, In that sense we don’t have to be different we only have to remember and return to that deeper true self that is always there waiting to be returned to and reclaimed.  



Focus on yourself by following the guided mediation on Impermanence on page 37 of my book Before You Go.

The Hardest Yoga Practice

Posted on by Jean Skeels

"Your right is to perform your duty only, but never to its fruits. Let not the fruits of action be your motive, nor let your attachment be to inaction." - Bhagavad Gita


While many people think of yoga as a kind of exercise practice that involves stretching and perhaps some strengthening, it is in its most authentic form a practice of spiritual development.


The Bhagavad Gita is one of the perennial texts of yoga philosophy. One of its central teachings is the yogic discipline of nonattachment. It asks us to become people of service and to perform our actions in life free from any expectations of results or attachment to outcomes. 


This is an extraordinary feat to accomplish. We are immersed in a culture that values outcomes over everything. Pause to think about your relationship to actions and outcomes. 


I think most of us will be shocked at how attached we are, how fragile our egos are, and how much we hunger for validation in so many ways, whether its money, status, attention, accolades, social climbing, physical prowess… so many things drive us. 


We need to be realistic about how deeply we can commit to a practice of nonattachment. The ancient yogis lived monastic lives and were completely dedicated to spiritual life. So while we certainly can work to be more selfless and mindful of our attachments and expectations, we should do so with a generous amount of self-forgiveness and space for the reality of the lives we are living. Finding a middle road on things is also a very yogic principle to take on. 

Perhaps think of one area where you could start a practice of nonattachment. It could be in relationships, at work, with yourself, or a variety of other areas. Just pick one and add compassion and gratitude to the practice. 


Your Place of Power

Posted on by Jean Skeels

With so much noise in the world about what is happening in our country, our communities, our relationships with each other, and often our relationship with ourselves, it is important to pause and anchor into the place where we have power, and the person we have power over. 


The singular answer to this is ourselves. 


No matter what tactics or persuasive tools we might use when confronted with difficult situations and conflicts in relationships the one person we control is ourselves. 


The most important question to ask ourselves in all situations both within ourselves and with others is, “What do I really want?”


If you could create an ideal outcome when dealing with difficulties both internal and external, what would it be, and how will you get there?


How might you relate with yourself and others to achieve that goal?


Your strategy may get you to that outcome, or perhaps it won’t, but you will have engaged with it from a place of integrity and confidence instead of an attempt to coerce or control another or treating yourself in an unkind and self defeating manner. 


We are never powerless in any situation, but the limits of our power reside within ourselves, our choices, and our actions.

The First Line is the Foundation

Posted on by Jean Skeels

In the study of great literary works there is a popular premise that a great first line is critically important and sets the tone for a whole book. 


The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali are one of the great works of yoga philosophy and are foundational to all practices that we call Yoga. 


The first line of these sutras brilliantly points us to the very heart of what yoga truly is, which is not a quest for super flexibility and physical prowess. It is something both more simple and paradoxically more complex than that.


The first line of the Yoga Sutras is “Atha Yoganusasanam,” which in my tradition of Kripalu Yoga we translate as “Now, the inquiry of Yoga.”


This short statement holds a lot of meaning and instruction.


The very first word, now, tells us to become conscious and rooted in the present moment. When we direct our attention to this moment, so much of our illusions, distractions, and obstacles immediately dissolve, because they are either memories of the past or imaginations of the future. Nothing real ever happens in the past or the future. The present moment is the only moment and yoga draws toward that truth. This intention sounds simple, be present and in this moment, but when we practice it we will discover how challenging that really is!


The next word inquiry describes the quality of awareness we are called to bring to this moment. Yoga intends to create a nonjudgmental awareness, or witness consciousness. This state is one where we are open and curious, where we are not grasping anything or pushing anything away. Inquiry is a state of relaxed interest, where we observe sensations, thoughts, emotions, and any state that moves through us with a kind of loving wonder. In fact Swami Kripalu said, “The highest form of spiritual practice is self-observation without judgment.” This inquiry is active, it is call to practice, and those practices can be varied, but all of them are rooted in this quest to become present and conscious. 


You can begin to practice in any moment by directing your attention to this moment in your body, your breath, your mind, your spirit. Come home to the power and peace that this moment has to offer. 


Namaste.


If you are looking to go deeper in this inquiry, let my book Before You Go be your guide.  

Center of Gravity

Posted on by Jean Skeels

What energy and qualities do we place at the center of our way of being and living day to day?


Our bodies have a physical center of gravity, defined as the point in your body where its mass is concentrated, and the point where the entire body is in balance in reference to gravity. This center affects our posture and how we carry ourselves, and it shifts to accommodate our different movements and orientations in our bodies. 


I think we also have an emotional and spiritual center of gravity, and the amazing thing with this center of gravity is we have a lot of power to choose it and change it. 


For example, do you choose to put gratitude or grievance more at the center of your emotional and spiritual life? 


We all will experience grievance, when things don’t go the way we wanted them to, there is trouble in a relationship, or there is a loss we are grappling with, but we choose whether we put those things at the center of our awareness as a pattern or if we meet those things and move back to gratitude for what is good and beautiful in our lives. 


There will always be problems and difficulties to deal with, and there will always be blessings and goodness. 


Where do you want your center of gravity to be?


You are empowered to choose and that is no small thing. 



If you are looking to go deeper in this inquiry, let my book Before You Go be your guide.  

Grief for Those Not Gone

Posted on by Jean Skeels

Grief is something we will experience because of many kinds of losses, not just when someone dies.


We might be grieving someone who is still here, but the relationship has ended. These losses can be very painful as they usually involve conflict and hurt. For some reason either one or both parties decided to walk away from the relationship. There are issues of betrayal, abandonment, confusion, and heartbreak, along with so many emotions that might be part of grieving these losses, and it may go on for an extended period of time.The grief may reemerge if we have to be in contact with the person or if we hear about them from others.  The wound might get activated and reopened by a variety of circumstances. Other people may be entangled in what has happened and loyalties and trust in other relationships may be affected. 


There are so many things that can make these kinds of losses so difficult to heal from. 


It is important to validate that this is an experience of grief and loss even if we are the one that has walked away and decided to change or end the relationship. It is very helpful to have a trusted person to talk to about what we are experiencing and feeling, a friend, a coach, a therapist or other person who we feel confident can listen and support us. 


Taking responsibility for our part in what happened in the relationship and making amends for  hurt we may have contributed, and making space for the other person to do the same, if and when they show up to do so is vital to moving on. If contact with that person is not possible then writing a letter to them is one way to get closure.


Writing down our feelings or finding other ways to creatively express ourselves can help to process and move through the ups and downs of grief. Grief is not linear and so learning how to move with its way of coming and going, shifting and changing is very helpful in understanding and supporting ourselves. 


Vigorous exercise, dance, martial arts, as well as anything that gets us outside and in nature can help to shift our mood and increase our sense of empowerment and lift our spirits. 


Yoga and meditation practices can be centering and renewing when we are having a difficult time.


Self care is always a priority, but especially when we are feeling down. It can be hard to find the energy to do the things we know are good for us, so this is another thing to find a friend or group to help us stay motivated and show up for ourselves. 


Opening to the present moment and inviting gratitude and grace into our hearts is always a powerful medicine for our hardships and losses. 


Above all, allow time and space for processing with deep compassion for yourself, hold healthy boundaries, feel the feelings as they show up, and connect to all the support inside and with others that is available.



Listening is Medicine

Posted on by Jean Skeels

“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable.” - David Augsberger


Relationship is the heart of life and the centerpoint of being human. 


We are always relating to ourselves, the world around us, and the people we encounter.


When we get opportunities to be in conversation with people, these are our chances to be present, to connect, to be curious, to give the precious gift of attention. 


Sometimes this will be easy. When we are with people who are close to us, our dear friends, family, and community. There are those people who we trust and open ourselves to, the ones we laugh and cry with, the ones who hear us and hold us. We need those kinds of people in our lives. Even just one person like that is the balm for loneliness.


If we find ourselves without such a person the best path forward is to seek to be that kind of person for someone else. Find someone and listen to them with interest and attention, keep doing this. Relating is a practice and it flows toward love. If you feel adrift and alone and there is no one else to listen or to hear, close your eyes and breathe, and hear your own breath, feel your own heart, and notice the truth that every other person on earth is also breathing, and has a heart beating, and so many are feeling exactly what you are feeling, we are never really alone.


There will also be difficult people in our lives. We will have conflict. Those conflicts can take many forms, some will be small, some may be life altering. We may find ourselves in conflict with people close to us, or people we have never even met. We can be in conflict with individuals, with groups, with ourselves. Conflict is an inevitable part of relating. It calls for the same skill as relating with those we love. 

Presence and listening.


If we truly want to resolve the conflicts in our lives we need the other to do that. We do not resolve a conflict on our own. Even conflicts within ourselves are much more successfully worked through when we share them with someone else who is present and listening with openness and compassion. 


How do we listen to resolve conflict?


Both parties agree in advance to listen with presence and openness. The following are some things that could be included.


- Open to compassion. Try to imagine their view of things.

- Breathe. Breathing keeps us calm and centered.

- Commit to listening fully. Do not formulate your response while the other person is speaking.

- Reflect back what they have said to you and ask if that is what they said. 

- Ask open ended follow up questions that help you understand more about them. 

- Listen and explore for areas of common interest.


Some conflicts will be harder to resolve than others, and resolution doesn’t always mean that the relationship is mended, sometimes it means getting closure and letting go. 


Some conflicts can be resolved in one conversation and some will require many meetings over a period of time. 


No matter the form or intensity of the conflict, the most powerful skill we can grow to meet and release them is listening. Even in the most difficult conflicts, when we bring in listening, we bring in love.

Take Care of Your Koshas

Posted on by Jean Skeels

With the New Year here many people are thinking about commitments to health and wellness. 


A great model to use for total self care, inside and out, is the koshas of yoga. 


There are five koshas that make up the multi-dimensional being in yoga philosophy. These are vital parts of ourselves that we can focus on nourishing for true health and well-being.


The Koshas are:


Anamaya Kosha:  The physical body.

Pranamaya Kosha:  The energy or life force body.

Manomaya Kosha: The mental body

Vijnanamaya Kosha: Witness or wisdom body.

Anandamaya Kosha: The Bliss Body


Checking in that you have connected and nourished each of these essential parts of self each day can create vibrancy and vitality and increase energy and joy in life. 


Ideas for caring for each kosha:


Anamaya Kosha: eat healthy foods, hydrate, exercise

Pranamaya Kosha: conscious breathing, yoga practices, getting body/energy work 

Manomaya Kosha: reading or engaging with new skills and activities, constant learning, mindfulness meditation

Vijnanamaya Kosha: meditation of all kinds, yoga practice, connecting to nature 

Anandamaya Kosha: spiritual practices of any kind, loving-kindness practices, connecting with people you love


There are many more ways you can care for each kosha and as you practice you will find the things that work for you. 


Step one is being aware of them on a daily basis if possible, but don’t make it difficult. Pick things that are reasonable and easy for you to implement and many things can apply to more than one kosha, for example eating healthy for your body is positive for both your physical body and your energy body. 


Make your self-care routine as simple as possible and as enjoyable as you possibly can. Include things you find fun, playful, and that bring you joy!!


What is your self-care routine? Please share in the comments section below.

Define Your Values to Define Your Life

Posted on by Jean Skeels

Sometimes when we are working on creating a plan or vision for our lives we can get paralyzed with not knowing what to do, what direction to move in, what we actually want, how we want to feel.


You can’t make goals or plans with clarity if you haven’t taken the time to know what you value.


Our values are central to what matters to us, what drives us, how we get fulfillment. 


Discovering and defining our positive values, and then using them to empower our lives, and give us direction is an essential part of creating a life that is authentic, aligned, and joyful.


Positive values are ones built on healthy self-esteem and a belief that value can be accessed and harnessed to meet goals and plans. Having a value that is built around lack or limiting beliefs will not be of service. Shifting mindset and energy around a value can be very transformational. 


Some examples of values are: growth, love and connection, gratitude, faith, strength, success, freedom, generosity. There are many values to consider and you know yourself best, so when you are considering values, go with what comes up for you first and then refine later. 


A few questions that may help in your exploration:


What is most important to you in life?

Who do you admire and why?

When were you the happiest?

What kind of stories touch you deeply?


Once you have identified your key values, find three or four to focus on, you can start intentionally crafting your daily life, goals, work, play, and relationships around them. 


Consider journaling around these values and how living them purposefully impacts your life.


There is much more about values and living a life of meaning and purpose in my book Before You Go.

Empowering Vision and Intention for the New Year

Posted on by Jean Skeels

Another year is coming to a close and a fresh chapter of this blessed life is about to open.

It may seem trite or cliché to set intentions for the New Year, but consider that consciously creating the energy and enthusiasm for this beginning opens the door to possibility. Our inner world does affect how we show up in the outer world. Energy is everything and actively creating yours is a powerful thing.

Intention Meditation:


Sit or lie down (but stay awake), perhaps put some music on that connects you to your joyful heart. Begin by taking some centering breaths allowing all thoughts of past and future roll through and each breath makes more space to come home to the present moment.


Once you feel present, begin to allow a vision of your year ahead to flow through you in a way that feels natural for you. You might view it in a sequence or perhaps it will meander. Simply be completely open to everything and anything that comes to your awareness. Take as much time as needed to let everything that wants to be known and received to bubble up.

When you feel complete grab your journal and write it all down. 


Review what you have written and identify any themes. Identify what calls to you most intensely. What values are you called to step into to create the year of your vision?

Next create an intention statement in the affirmative, including the values you are centering.


I (insert your name) am ___________________.


Make this intention concise and clear. For example:


I (name) am caring for my body and health.

I (name) am creating connection and love in my life.


Finally create three action steps toward that intention. Make them simple and achievable.

If you are comfortable, feel free to include your intention in the comments below.