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Jean Skeels

Category: Self Care

The Hardest Yoga Practice

Posted on by Jean Skeels

"Your right is to perform your duty only, but never to its fruits. Let not the fruits of action be your motive, nor let your attachment be to inaction." - Bhagavad Gita


While many people think of yoga as a kind of exercise practice that involves stretching and perhaps some strengthening, it is in its most authentic form a practice of spiritual development.


The Bhagavad Gita is one of the perennial texts of yoga philosophy. One of its central teachings is the yogic discipline of nonattachment. It asks us to become people of service and to perform our actions in life free from any expectations of results or attachment to outcomes. 


This is an extraordinary feat to accomplish. We are immersed in a culture that values outcomes over everything. Pause to think about your relationship to actions and outcomes. 


I think most of us will be shocked at how attached we are, how fragile our egos are, and how much we hunger for validation in so many ways, whether its money, status, attention, accolades, social climbing, physical prowess… so many things drive us. 


We need to be realistic about how deeply we can commit to a practice of nonattachment. The ancient yogis lived monastic lives and were completely dedicated to spiritual life. So while we certainly can work to be more selfless and mindful of our attachments and expectations, we should do so with a generous amount of self-forgiveness and space for the reality of the lives we are living. Finding a middle road on things is also a very yogic principle to take on. 

Perhaps think of one area where you could start a practice of nonattachment. It could be in relationships, at work, with yourself, or a variety of other areas. Just pick one and add compassion and gratitude to the practice. 


Listening is Medicine

Posted on by Jean Skeels

“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable.” - David Augsberger


Relationship is the heart of life and the centerpoint of being human. 


We are always relating to ourselves, the world around us, and the people we encounter.


When we get opportunities to be in conversation with people, these are our chances to be present, to connect, to be curious, to give the precious gift of attention. 


Sometimes this will be easy. When we are with people who are close to us, our dear friends, family, and community. There are those people who we trust and open ourselves to, the ones we laugh and cry with, the ones who hear us and hold us. We need those kinds of people in our lives. Even just one person like that is the balm for loneliness.


If we find ourselves without such a person the best path forward is to seek to be that kind of person for someone else. Find someone and listen to them with interest and attention, keep doing this. Relating is a practice and it flows toward love. If you feel adrift and alone and there is no one else to listen or to hear, close your eyes and breathe, and hear your own breath, feel your own heart, and notice the truth that every other person on earth is also breathing, and has a heart beating, and so many are feeling exactly what you are feeling, we are never really alone.


There will also be difficult people in our lives. We will have conflict. Those conflicts can take many forms, some will be small, some may be life altering. We may find ourselves in conflict with people close to us, or people we have never even met. We can be in conflict with individuals, with groups, with ourselves. Conflict is an inevitable part of relating. It calls for the same skill as relating with those we love. 

Presence and listening.


If we truly want to resolve the conflicts in our lives we need the other to do that. We do not resolve a conflict on our own. Even conflicts within ourselves are much more successfully worked through when we share them with someone else who is present and listening with openness and compassion. 


How do we listen to resolve conflict?


Both parties agree in advance to listen with presence and openness. The following are some things that could be included.


- Open to compassion. Try to imagine their view of things.

- Breathe. Breathing keeps us calm and centered.

- Commit to listening fully. Do not formulate your response while the other person is speaking.

- Reflect back what they have said to you and ask if that is what they said. 

- Ask open ended follow up questions that help you understand more about them. 

- Listen and explore for areas of common interest.


Some conflicts will be harder to resolve than others, and resolution doesn’t always mean that the relationship is mended, sometimes it means getting closure and letting go. 


Some conflicts can be resolved in one conversation and some will require many meetings over a period of time. 


No matter the form or intensity of the conflict, the most powerful skill we can grow to meet and release them is listening. Even in the most difficult conflicts, when we bring in listening, we bring in love.

Take Care of Your Koshas

Posted on by Jean Skeels

With the New Year here many people are thinking about commitments to health and wellness. 


A great model to use for total self care, inside and out, is the koshas of yoga. 


There are five koshas that make up the multi-dimensional being in yoga philosophy. These are vital parts of ourselves that we can focus on nourishing for true health and well-being.


The Koshas are:


Anamaya Kosha:  The physical body.

Pranamaya Kosha:  The energy or life force body.

Manomaya Kosha: The mental body

Vijnanamaya Kosha: Witness or wisdom body.

Anandamaya Kosha: The Bliss Body


Checking in that you have connected and nourished each of these essential parts of self each day can create vibrancy and vitality and increase energy and joy in life. 


Ideas for caring for each kosha:


Anamaya Kosha: eat healthy foods, hydrate, exercise

Pranamaya Kosha: conscious breathing, yoga practices, getting body/energy work 

Manomaya Kosha: reading or engaging with new skills and activities, constant learning, mindfulness meditation

Vijnanamaya Kosha: meditation of all kinds, yoga practice, connecting to nature 

Anandamaya Kosha: spiritual practices of any kind, loving-kindness practices, connecting with people you love


There are many more ways you can care for each kosha and as you practice you will find the things that work for you. 


Step one is being aware of them on a daily basis if possible, but don’t make it difficult. Pick things that are reasonable and easy for you to implement and many things can apply to more than one kosha, for example eating healthy for your body is positive for both your physical body and your energy body. 


Make your self-care routine as simple as possible and as enjoyable as you possibly can. Include things you find fun, playful, and that bring you joy!!


What is your self-care routine? Please share in the comments section below.

Empowering Vision and Intention for the New Year

Posted on by Jean Skeels

Another year is coming to a close and a fresh chapter of this blessed life is about to open.

It may seem trite or cliché to set intentions for the New Year, but consider that consciously creating the energy and enthusiasm for this beginning opens the door to possibility. Our inner world does affect how we show up in the outer world. Energy is everything and actively creating yours is a powerful thing.

Intention Meditation:


Sit or lie down (but stay awake), perhaps put some music on that connects you to your joyful heart. Begin by taking some centering breaths allowing all thoughts of past and future roll through and each breath makes more space to come home to the present moment.


Once you feel present, begin to allow a vision of your year ahead to flow through you in a way that feels natural for you. You might view it in a sequence or perhaps it will meander. Simply be completely open to everything and anything that comes to your awareness. Take as much time as needed to let everything that wants to be known and received to bubble up.

When you feel complete grab your journal and write it all down. 


Review what you have written and identify any themes. Identify what calls to you most intensely. What values are you called to step into to create the year of your vision?

Next create an intention statement in the affirmative, including the values you are centering.


I (insert your name) am ___________________.


Make this intention concise and clear. For example:


I (name) am caring for my body and health.

I (name) am creating connection and love in my life.


Finally create three action steps toward that intention. Make them simple and achievable.

If you are comfortable, feel free to include your intention in the comments below.

Three Breaths

Posted on by Jean Skeels

Breath is the ultimate sustainer of life. It is our constant support and it is also a gateway to presence and deep awareness. Conscious breathing creates a relaxation response and moves us away from the sympathetic nervous system where tension and anxiety can build, and toward  the parasympathetic nervous system which creates a more relaxed and easeful state of being.  


The very first and most essential exercise in my book, Before You Go, is to practice taking three deep and conscious breaths. Do this three times a day, once in the morning, once at midday, once in the evening. This simple practice can be deeply transformational and a first step toward a more centered life of deep presence. Being more present to yourself will help guide you towards more authenticity and generosity with your time and energy, because you will be more focused and aligned with your unique gifts and purpose. 


Try it right now. Three slow easy breaths. 


Breath is energy, breath is healing, breath is life. 


Learn more about meditation and other practices in my book Before You Go

www.beforeyougolegacy.com


About Me

Posted on by Jean Skeels

I am so happy you have found your way here and are interested in finding out about me, my book Before You Go, and all the things I am excited to be offering.

I am a Kripalu Yoga teacher of nearly 25 years, a writer, death doula, life coach, mediator, and mother of three grown children.

The book Before You Go and all the work I do are grounded in empowerment. I believe that by developing a conscious relationship with the fact of your own mortality you will find more power and enthusiasm to live the life you are meant to live, authentically, fully, and joyfully. Life inevitably has suffering and loss. We all will be confronted with things that are challenging and demand so much of us, sometimes more than we think we are capable of. We will all experience both success and failure, as well as things that fall in between. We meet life's challenges and we grow. Life will also bestow on us gifts and talents, opportunities, connections, love, and grace. Every experience is an opportunity to engage and connect with our external and internal worlds.

All of this served as the inspiration for my book and my work.

Before You Go is full of meditations, activities, journaling and writing prompts, to guide you in a rich exploration of the most important person in your life, you. My book and all the work I do is ultimately about discovering your own wisdom, passion, and vision. It is about awakening and affirming your personal power and your soul’s purpose and opening the door to a life of meaning, and joy.

Read more here: www.BeforeYouGoLegacy.com