Grief is something we will experience because of many kinds of losses, not just when someone dies.
We might be grieving someone who is still here, but the relationship has ended. These losses can be very painful as they usually involve conflict and hurt. For some reason either one or both parties decided to walk away from the relationship. There are issues of betrayal, abandonment, confusion, and heartbreak, along with so many emotions that might be part of grieving these losses, and it may go on for an extended period of time.The grief may reemerge if we have to be in contact with the person or if we hear about them from others. The wound might get activated and reopened by a variety of circumstances. Other people may be entangled in what has happened and loyalties and trust in other relationships may be affected.
There are so many things that can make these kinds of losses so difficult to heal from.
It is important to validate that this is an experience of grief and loss even if we are the one that has walked away and decided to change or end the relationship. It is very helpful to have a trusted person to talk to about what we are experiencing and feeling, a friend, a coach, a therapist or other person who we feel confident can listen and support us.
Taking responsibility for our part in what happened in the relationship and making amends for hurt we may have contributed, and making space for the other person to do the same, if and when they show up to do so is vital to moving on. If contact with that person is not possible then writing a letter to them is one way to get closure.
Writing down our feelings or finding other ways to creatively express ourselves can help to process and move through the ups and downs of grief. Grief is not linear and so learning how to move with its way of coming and going, shifting and changing is very helpful in understanding and supporting ourselves.
Vigorous exercise, dance, martial arts, as well as anything that gets us outside and in nature can help to shift our mood and increase our sense of empowerment and lift our spirits.
Yoga and meditation practices can be centering and renewing when we are having a difficult time.
Self care is always a priority, but especially when we are feeling down. It can be hard to find the energy to do the things we know are good for us, so this is another thing to find a friend or group to help us stay motivated and show up for ourselves.
Opening to the present moment and inviting gratitude and grace into our hearts is always a powerful medicine for our hardships and losses.
Above all, allow time and space for processing with deep compassion for yourself, hold healthy boundaries, feel the feelings as they show up, and connect to all the support inside and with others that is available.